


Over and Over

by HeithChief



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Established Relationship, M/M, Self-Sacrifice, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9292604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeithChief/pseuds/HeithChief
Summary: my darkest sheith canon is, how team is watching Shiro die. after some time Keith is sure he's not dead, he doesn't want to believe, so he leaves voltron and goes to search for Shiro, finds the truth, that Shiro's really dead, but find a way to travel in time, so he can change the past. instead of saving Shiro's live, he wants to convince Shiro not to go on the Kerberos mission.i can't help but i can see Keith reaches into the purple and gold light, trying to touch Shiro, to catch him, but Shiro is falling and Keith is slow, too slow for saving him.and even if he changes the past, Shiro always die in every possible timeline.Inspired by this prompt^^ from by circumstellardust on Tumblr.





	

Haggar had blasted them apart and Keith cursed himself that his lion was incapacitated. If he had only been able to fly. He could have followed Shiro. He could have prevented this somehow. It had taken a while to get the castle’s system working again, but once Allura and Coran did, they were able to locate the lions. Keith was the second to last found. Well he was supposed to be. They searched for Shiro, following the black lion’s signal, but once they got there it had been too late. They found the black lion, but Shiro was nowhere to be found. Keith’s heart started beating faster and faster with every second and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. There was a tightness in his chest and his hands started shaking. He was having a panic attack, but he didn’t want to let the others know.

              “If the black lion is here, Shiro must be here!” Keith shouted desperately. “The paladin suits have tracers in them too, right?” He ran to Allura’s side and started down at the control panel.

              “It is true and we can also track all of your vital signs so we know how you’re doing in battle.” Coran said, his voice was a bit stiff and he glanced at Keith. Keith’s eyes raked the screen until he saw their vitals broken down by their color. There was a heartrate and breathing monitor for each paladin. He immediately saw his own, both were accelerated. When he looked at Shiro’s a wave of panic washed over him again. Both were flatlined. He looked at Coran for even a sliver of hope, but he saw it on Coran’s face before he could say it.

              “Keith,” Allura started gently. She knew the extent of Keith’s relationship with Shiro from the gossip she had gotten from the mice. Keith never talked about it and Shiro, for Keith’s sake, kept it quiet as well. They all knew Shiro and Keith had a deep relationship, but only she knew. She had to be gentle with her next words. “We’re not getting anything from him. No breathing, no heartbeat. Keith, everyone,” She moved her eyes from Keith to address the other paladins. She knew the agony that came with that loss and she couldn’t bear to see it on Keith’s face. Keith was always quiet about his past, but she feared Shiro was all Keith had. “Shiro is dead.”

              “He’s not!” Keith exploded as his anxiety did as well. The panic attack had caused him to lose all control on his temper and emotions. “His sensors could be broken! We have to search the rest of this planet for him. The black lion is out of commission, so maybe he went to find shelter.” Tears spilled down his face in quick streams before he could even stop them.

              Coran placed a hand on Allura’s shoulder and nodded. “We got feed from the black lion’s records. We didn’t want to show this, but it confirms our suspicions.” Coran hit a button on the control panel and a video appeared on the screen behind them. It started off as a first-person view of the black lion spiraling out of control, picking up speed as it broke the planet’s atmosphere. They could hear Shiro’s frustrated yells as he tried to gain control. Shiro was a prodigy pilot, but even the best pilot would have struggled in this situation. Mere minutes before Shiro would have hit the surface, he managed to get his lion under control. Unfortunately, the lion was still going too fast. It landed with a sickening crash. They heard a shout of pain from Shiro.

              While watching, Keith’s fists were balled up at his sides. He was barely holding onto his sanity. He couldn’t believe Coran nor the video. Shiro had to be okay. He couldn’t lose Shiro again. Keith’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw Shiro step out of his lion. Shiro’s forehead was bleed under his helmet, but he looked all right. Keith was about to speak up about this until soldiers started running to the site of the accident. They were Galra. The black lion, in an effort to defend its paladin, started firing at the soldiers. Shiro activated his arm and fought against the enemy, but he was weak from his injury and there were simply too many of them. Keith held his breath as he watched Shiro fight. He was still holding his own despite being injured. Keith guessed it was a sort of training from living inside the Galra prisons for a year. He knew how to fight. Shiro lasted, but not long. He was hit one too many times and with the fifth shot he took, Shiro collapsed to his knees. His body went slack and fell to the ground. Keith fell to his knees, mirroring Shiro as if he could feel Shiro’s pain.

              The black lion continued to fire even after Shiro stopped moving. The group of Galra were annihilated and their blasters didn’t stand a chance against the lion’s arsenal. After the last soldier fell, the feed cut out. “She defended Shiro until the very end, but it wasn’t enough. Only because of that were we able to save her from getting captured by Zarkon. Shiro left a message for you as well, Keith.”

              Keith nodded to tell Coran it was okay to play it for all of them. He pressed his lips together the minute Shiro’s face was seen on the screen. He could tell Shiro filmed this in midst of the black lion hurtling toward the planet’s surface. “Keith, if I don’t make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron. I know you don’t see yourself as a leader, but I always have. I believe in you.” Shiro looked at the screen once more, giving a look that would have been unreadable to anyone but Keith. _I love you_. It was there in his eyes and Keith’s heart ached.

              “Shiro is right. Because of your close relationship, I’m sure you can pilot the black lion. We’ll have to find a paladin for the red lion, which will be difficult, but we can do it.” Allura addressed them, trying to stay logical as possible.

              Keith slammed his fist on the floor making the other paladins to jump. “NO! I won’t. What? Are we just supposed to forget about Shiro? I won’t do that. The black lion is Shiro’s!” He finally stood up and waited for the rest of them to react in a similar way, but they were all frozen, watching him. They wanted to mourn Shiro, but they were still defenders of the universe. They had to move on whether they liked it or not. Pidge’s heart went out to Keith. She, like Allura, knew the pain that came with losing a loved one. She had suspected for a while, but she saw it in Keith’s eyes now. This loss was different. Pidge and Allura had lost a family member, but Keith had lost his first and only love. Pidge had never been in love before, but she knew about it. That kind of love was different from any platonic love and the hurt was deeper. Keith would never fully recover from it.

              “I don’t mean right away, but we eventually will have to, Keith.” Allura said gently. “We’ll all take time to mourn Shiro.”

              “But we didn’t find his body! He could have just been unconscious!” He looked at Lance and Hunk who hadn’t looked at him once. Hunk was still staring at the blank screen with tears still falling down his face. Lance was quiet for once and wore a hard expression on his face as he stared at his feet. Shiro had been Lance’s hero and all of their mentors. They wouldn’t recover from this. Keith knew he’d never live up to Shiro’s leadership. “All of you may have given up, but I never will!” Keith turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.”

              “Keith!” Lance called after him, finally looking up. _How could Keith accuse us of that! I care just as much about Shiro as you do, idiot!_ Hunk placed a hand on Lance’s arm to stop him from going after Keith.

              “Leave him be.” Pidge finally spoke up. She knew Keith dealt with things on his own and he would need time to process all of this.

* * *

 

              Keith didn’t go to his own room, but to Shiro’s. The door slid open and he looked around the room. He felt drained and numb now that his anger had subsided a little. He walked forward and collapsed onto Shiro’s bed. Shiro’s scent surrounded him and it made his chest feel tight again. He had been through this pain before the first time he’d lost Shiro, but he wouldn’t do it again. Shiro had to be out there. He closed his eyes as a memory overtook his subconscious.

              _They were lying on Shiro’s bed and it was a tight squeeze, but they liked it that way. It forced them to be as close as possible. Keith had always shied away from any form of physical touch, but when it came to Shiro, he had come to crave it. They were both restless at night, but found comfort in one another. It was during these moments that Keith thought of his year without Shiro. The nights were always lonely for him and he was glad he no longer had to face them alone. For Shiro, nighttime just brought flashes of his worst memories in the form of nightmares. The memories were distorted and left him shaking when he woke up. Feeling Keith’s weight on top of him was the most calming feeling in the world. It gave him a physical anchor to the present that kept his horrors at bay._

_Shiro was lightly stroking Keith’s hair, neither of them asleep yet. “Keith?” He murmured softly and Keith felt Shiro’s deep baritone voice while lying on his chest. It made him smile and he snuggled closer._

_“Hm?”_

_“What are you thinking about?”_

_“Living in our shack without you.” Keith admitted honestly. He was a good liar and usually kept everything to himself, but with Shiro he never could. Shiro would see right through him anyway._

_“Why?”_

_“I was just thinking about how much better it is to have you back. I thought I lost you forever.”_

_Shiro shifted his hold on Keith, wrapping his arms even tighter and kissed Keith’s forehead. “I still can’t imagine. You thought I was dead. You thought you were never going to see me again. I at least had that hope.”_

_Keith nodded and gripped Shiro’s shirt tighter in his fists. He closed his eyes and just took in Shiro’s presence._

_“I’ll make sure you never feel that way again. I love you.”_

_It seemed like an impossible promise to make, but in the moment Keith believed him._

Keith’s eyes snapped open when he remembered those words. “You PROMISED!” Keith shouted. He grabbed one of the books off Shiro’s nightstand and threw it across the room. Soon more of Shiro’s things were thrown across the room. He was making a ton of noise, but he had locked Shiro’s room they couldn’t come in. He was careful not to throw anything that was breakable. Still, within him, he had an inkling that Shiro wasn’t dead.

_“You really messed up my room, baby.” Shiro stood in the doorway with a smile on his face._

_Keith turned and smiled back at him. Well, you broke your promise.”_

_“Almost, but I’m back.”_

 When he looked to the doorway Shiro wasn’t really there. Shiro wasn’t going to appear there like magic. Keith shook his head and tried to get rid of those thoughts. It was futile because he’d never forget Shiro if he tried. His stomach was in knots with regret and with every minute that passed his stomach twisted into a tighter knot. His anger was nearly making him physically sick. Finally, the tears blurred his vision and fell to his knees, too exhausted to fight any longer. Keith let out a scream of agony and frustration. He was sure it rang out into the hallway and anyone nearby would have heard it. He didn’t care. Losing Shiro the first time had nearly destroyed him and this time, it was worse. This would destroy him, he would never recover.

              Hunk had come to Shiro’s room trying to find Keith. Food had always helped him when he was upset and maybe Keith could use a snack. He was about to knock on the door when he heard Keith’s scream. He was stunned and his heart ached like he had never felt before. He knew this would be hardest on Keith, but he never imagined it would be like that. Sure, Keith had a temper, but he was always collected in front of the others. Hunk didn’t know heartbreak to this degree, but Keith’s scream had said it all. It was excruciating beyond any physical pain and Hunk felt Keith’s utter, broken, despair. It was a gut-wrenching pain that hurt in every crevice of Keith’s insides. If Keith and Shiro had just broken up, it would have been bearable to a degree, but death was irreversible. Concrete, and permanent, this pain would live with Keith forever. Hunk pressed his lips together and left the food outside the door. Keith wasn’t ready to be around anyone.

* * *

 

Keith didn’t leave Shiro’s room for a week and even after the week, he was merely a shell of his old self. He only appeared for meals and meetings about Voltron. The black lion had been successfully repaired and was ready for flight, but it wouldn’t activate for anyone. Allura knew it would only come alive for Keith, but he refused to come near it. He didn’t spend all of his free time in the training deck like he used to nor did he spend any time in any common areas more than necessary. The others kept up their training and if any tried to push Keith to participate he would blow up at them and storm off. He spent all his free time in Shiro’s room.

              “I know I give Keith a hard time and he’s always been my rival, but I can’t live with this! He doesn’t rise to any of my taunts and refuses to spar with me. That’s not Keith! We have to find a way to wake him up. It’s been three weeks! I miss Shiro all the time too!” Lance groaned as he and Hunk sat in the ship’s common room. “It’s no fun to tease Keith when he’s like this. I mean we’re expected to have a leader like that?”

              “How could you be so insensitive, Lance?” Pidge had entered the room and stood over them with her arms crossed. “I know you understand loss to some degree since you’re separated from your family, but at least they’re alive. I think a part of Keith _died_ with Shiro. He can’t snap out of it!” She was furious and didn’t hide it well.

              Hunk nodded and closed his eyes. He could still hear Keith’s scream of agony in his head. It was there in his eyes, they were lifeless, there was a part of him that was missing. “Lance, we’re all worried about Keith, but he’s grieving. He was closer to Shiro than any of us so of course it’s going to take him longer to get over Shiro.”

              Lanced looked at his friends and suddenly felt guilty. Even he saw their bond and still remembered the time he’d caught them making out in the kitchen. “Oh…right. I sometimes forget they were dating.” Lance looked down. He’d never even had a significant other so he didn’t understand, but he knew love. Everyone did.

              “I’m surprised you knew.” Pidge teased, getting back at Lance for his insensitivity. “You are the most oblivious of all of us.”

              “I did walk in on the making out one night when I went for midnight snack.” Lance shot back. “I tried to burn it from my memory so I forgot.”

              “Of course, you’d only know because you had actual proof.” Pidge deadpanned.

              Keith was stood in the hallway and heard the whole conversation. He was grateful to Pidge and Hunk for sticking up for him, but Lance was right. He couldn’t be their leader like this. Pidge was also right, a part of died when Shiro did. He heard their laughter and turned back. _I’m trying to live without you, Shiro, but I feel dead inside. They’re finding ways to cope and I just spend my time lying in your bed, pouring over your things. They’ve accepted it, but I can’t. I still feel like you’re out there somewhere._ Maybe this feeling was because of Kerberos. He had gotten Shiro back once, he could get him back again. If they wouldn’t search for Shiro then he would.

              Keith switched directions and instead of going to Shiro’s, he went to his own room. He threw on his paladin gear and ran off to the red lion. He considered using the black lion because maybe she’d be able to track Shiro, but he couldn’t bring himself to go to her hanger. He didn’t even look back as he set off. He called the rest of the paladins as well as Allura and Coran his family now, but without Shiro, everything was meaningless. If he died in his search for Shiro, then so be it.

* * *

 

It didn’t take him long to find the planet where the black lion had crashed. He couldn’t say how he got there. It was like Red understood his feelings and she took him there. He first flew over the surface searching for any clues that only could be seen from above. Then he flew into a cave where he would hide Red. This place could be searched since it was where the Galra had last seen the black lion. He grabbed his bayard and had it ready for any sense of danger. He started with the crash site and checked around the crater. Surprisingly it was no longer littered with fallen Galra. He wondered if someone had come to dispose of them. Maybe they had taken Shiro’s body with them. He walked out from the crater and that’s when he saw it.

Off from the crash site was a forest and with the trees he wouldn’t have seen this from the air. Keith gasped and ran to the edge of the forest. His hands and legs were shaking as he stooped to pick up the black and white helmet. The visor was shatter and the inside had stains of Shiro’s blood. Worry blossomed in Keith’s stomach, but this didn’t mean Shiro was dead. Maybe he had gone off to find help to fix the black lion. He was shot several times, but maybe his armor had blocked the shots or maybe they just grazed him.

He cradled the helmet to his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of it. _This isn’t over Shiro. I will never stop searching._ He walked deeper into the forest and a russet patch caught his eye. To his horror he realized it was dried blood. It was Shiro’s, he didn’t have to be sure, he just knew it. It wasn’t just a small patch either, Shiro had lost a lot of blood. He saw two indents in the dirt and bent down to trace them with his fingers. Shiro had fallen to his knees. Keith’s heart was racing and he was suddenly scared of what he would find. He had hope before, but he feared he find exactly what he was dreading.

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat and looked farther ahead. There were footprints again, Shiro had gotten up, but there was also a trail of blood. He hoped that Shiro had found help and maybe, just maybe, Shiro was trying to contact them. He followed the trail of blood and footprints for a few yards before he saw a dark form on the ground. _NO! Please, don’t be him._ The closer he got, the blood drained from his face. The figure was wearing a black and white paladin uniform. It was Shiro and it had been three weeks so Shiro’s body wasn’t looking too good. He turned away and was glad his helmet kept him from the smell. He confirmed it. Shiro was dead. He fell to his knees as sobs wracked his body.

Now that it was confirmed, he was lost. He turned once more to look at Shiro before he left, but he couldn’t look at Shiro’s face. He wouldn’t taint his memory of Shiro’s beautiful face. It was Shiro’s Galra arm that caught his attention. There was something in his grasp. He stumbled forward and slowly pried Shiro’s fingers open. His heart skipped a beat and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. After all this time, he couldn’t believe Shiro still had that on him.

The photo was of the two of them the day before Shiro left for Kerberos. It was faded, stained, and bit worn around the edges, but still intact. Keith wasn’t super fond of pictures, but Shiro insisted that they had one taken. Matt had taken the photo inside of Shiro’s room at the Garrison. Matt had been the only one who had known the real aspects of their relationship. Others just thought they had a very close knit mentor and student relationship. It was supposed to be a simple picture, but at the last minute, Shiro had turned and kissed his cheek. Keith wore a giddy smile and it was the only picture of him where he truly looked happy. He had the matching photo back in his room in the castle. He flipped it over and saw the inscription written on the back in his own handwriting. It was dirtier than the front of the picture. He smiled a little and wondered if that was from Shiro tracing over the letters many, many times.

_So you don’t forget about me while you’re on your mission._

_I love you_

_Keith_

He still was in shock that the photo had made it this far. It had survived his mission to Kerberos and the year spent in the Galra prison. Shiro must have hid it in his clothes and kept on his person always. Keith was a little comforted that he was the last thought on Shiro’s mind, but that didn’t change anything. He turned and fled from the scene. He clutched the photograph to his chest as he made it back to Red safely. Keith took off and left the planet behind, but he didn’t head back to the castle. He couldn’t go face them knowing the truth. Sure, he found the closure he needed, but it didn’t change anything. It hadn’t healed him at all. He was still empty inside.

There was a slight prickling sensation in his mind and he knew Red was trying to tell him something. Keith swallowed and nodded, following her lead. He watched the stars and other planets pass by and he didn’t know how long it had been since they started their journey. They were going off somewhere far and at this point, Keith didn’t care. He didn’t want to be a leader of Voltron or with his friends when a crucial piece of his life was missing. Being around them and Voltron would just remind him of Shiro. His wounds would never heal.

Suddenly, a bright purple-white light appeared to Red’s left. He felt her guiding him to it. The light started sucking them in like a wormhole. The prickling sensation returned. It wasn’t quite a voice, but it spoke to him. He couldn’t explain the phenomenon more than he could his connection to Red. This had to be something that couldn’t have been created by an alien race. It asked him if he could change one thing about his past, what would it be? He thought it would be Shiro’s death, but his mind immediately went to Kerberos. If he hadn’t had to spend that year without Shiro, his life would have been completely different. Shiro wouldn’t have lost his right arm, he wouldn’t have had PTSD dreams of being tortured, and Keith wouldn’t have gotten kicked out of the Garrison. It all started with Kerberos. The light absorbed him and Red until it was all he could see. Then everything went black.

* * *

 

Keith woke up in his bed and groaned at the pounding in his head. _Where did I go last night after I found Shiro’s body? Who rescued me? Did they find Red and I crashed somewhere?_ Blue eyes blinked a few times to get rid of the cloudiness of sleep. He sucked in a breath when he realized his surroundings were different. This wasn’t his room in the Castle of Lions…this was his room in the Garrison! Keith scrambled out of bed and ran into the bathroom. He flicked on the light and stared at his reflection. He was still himself, but he looked a bit younger. This had to be a dream induced by his sleep in the pod. Of course, he had gotten hurt after that crash. He splashed his face and water and staggered back when he actually felt the wetness on his face.

 _This…isn’t a dream? This can’t be possible! …this has to be an illusion._ Keith threw on his shoes and tore out of his room. He skidded around every corner with how fast he was running. He nearly passed Shiro’s room and stumbled with the effort it took to stop himself. The lack of people in the halls and the darkness told him that it was still the middle of the night. He hoped Shiro was awake. He tried the handle and the door swung open. Keith had almost forgotten that Shiro used to keep his door unlocked at night. It made it easier for Keith to sneak into his room. That must mean they were dating at this point.

He shut the door quietly and he forgot how to breathe for a moment. Shiro was asleep and the time on his clock read 2:12 am. He still had his all black undercut and no scar on the bridge of his nose. Both his arms were flesh and it made Keith’s heart swell with happiness. _Well, whatever this is, I’m going to take full advantage of it._ He quietly kicked off his shoes and slid into bed with Shiro. A small smile lit up Keith’s face as Shiro naturally shifted in his sleep to accommodate the new body in his bed. _Honestly, I liked your face with that scar and I liked your white fringe, but I’d trade those for your happiness and peace of mind. Whatever that purple-white light did, I have to convince Shiro not to go on the Kerberos mission._ Keith couldn’t help himself. He reached over and traced the bridge of Shiro’s face were the pink, raised scar would have been.

Shiro stirred under his touch and swatted his hand away. Keith winced and stuck his tongue out. He had to suppressed a chuckle, but he definitely just woke him up. Shiro let out a small whine and cracked open an eye. He smiled immediately when he saw Keith. “Couldn’t sleep, baby?”

Keith nearly cried at the sound of Shiro’s deep-sleepy voice. He loved that about Shiro. It had been three weeks and his last memory was of dead Shiro. “I just had a vivid, horrible nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Keith shook his head. “No. I don’t want to relive that. I just needed to see you. Sorry I woke you.”

Shiro smiled warmly. “Only because it’s you, I don’t mind.”

His heart ached with sappy truth of Shiro’s words. He was a bit terrified to go to sleep because he feared it would all be over when he woke up. “I love you, Takashi.” Keith worried for a moment that they may not have said that to each other yet. He wasn’t quite sure where in the timeline he was. This could be days before Kerberos or months.

“I love you too, Keith.”

Keith relaxed a little bit with how easily Shiro had said it back. _Right. Shiro had just been promoted so this had to be close to his Kerberos assignment._

 Shiro leaned down and kissed Keith. He had to actively stop himself from jumping Shiro in his excitement. He wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck and just enjoyed the kiss. He may never get to do this again. Being completely surrounded by Shiro was the best feeling in the world to Keith. It calmed his body and soul. “Get some sleep. Always more simulations and training in the morning, cadet.”

“Yes, sir.” Keith murmured and playfully saluted him with his two fingers.

Shiro had to cover his face when a blush suddenly over took him. Keith chuckled and Shiro pinched his side. “Stop that. You know that turns me on. I’m too tired for that. I’ve only just been promoted and I’m not used to that from you.” Keith smiled and kissed Shiro’s cheek before he lay down into Shiro’s embrace. He nuzzled his head into Shiro’s chest, settling into his favorite pillow; Shiro’s lovely pectorals.

“Good night, Taka.”

“’Night Keith.” Shiro drifted back off first, but Keith spent all the time he could just admiring Shiro before his eyelids became too heavy. _Maybe this isn’t a dream, maybe it’s death. Maybe I died after I flew into that black hole. Either way, I’ll get to be by your side._

* * *

 

Keith woke to someone gently shaking his shoulder and he opened his eyes halfway and saw Shiro standing over him. His eyes grew wide and he gasped, surprised he was still here after falling asleep. This was not a dream and he was not dead. He was really back at the Garrison with Shiro.

Shiro chuckled at his surprise. “What’s with that look? Did you forget coming here last night? You’re usually always good about getting yourself and sneaking back to your room.” He changed his facial expression to one of concern for Keith. “Did that nightmare really bother you that much?”

Keith quickly shook his head. “No. No, it’s not that, I promise. I guess I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with you.”

“Did something happen to me in that dream?”

Keith wanted to brush it off, but like always Shiro knew how to see right through him. “Yeah. You died.”

Shiro clicked his tongue sympathetically and bent down to give Keith a quick kiss. “I’m sorry you had to see that then. I wish I could promise that I wasn’t going to die before you.”

 _Oh, that won’t happen. I’m going to make sure of it this time._ “I’ll be all right, Takashi.”

“Of course, you will. You’re stronger than I know and what I give you credit for. I’ll see you later.” Keith had a past and he had baggage, but he was in no way fragile. Shiro watched Keith as he pulled on his boots and went to the door. Shiro grabbed Keith’s wrist to stop him and Keith smiled. He stood up on his tip toes and gave Shiro the kiss he was waiting for.

They were both lingering and didn’t want to part just yet. It was getting close to wake up time so Keith had to go now before he was caught. Shiro knew that, but the way he pulled Keith close betrayed those thoughts. Keith parted his lips and smiled into the kiss when Shiro just as eagerly met Keith’s tongue with his own. He wanted to cherish this feeling. French kissing had been foreign and strange to him the first time, but now he loved it. They didn’t have time for this. Keith could wait. After he saved Shiro, they’d have all the time in the world.

Keith broke the kiss first with a teasing wink over his shoulder. Shiro shook his head and narrowed his eyes at Keith. He licked his lips dangerously and slapped Keith’s ass when Keith grabbed for the door. “Get going, cadet, don’t want to be late for your warm ups. And please show your instructors some respect today.”

He smirked back at Shiro. “Yes _sir_.” Keith stuck is tongue out and winked as he saluted Shiro.

“ _Keith!_ ” Shiro hissed, wanted to snap at him, but also was trying not to be too loud. Keith laughed quietly and a little darkly as he snuck out into the hallway. Shiro slapped his forehead and dragged his hand down his face. _I swear, Keith is going to get me in real trouble someday. He always leaves me wanting more._ Shiro dressed for the day and went to report to his assignment. He met Matt on his way and Matt gave him a knowing smirk.

“So, I went out for a run this morning and I saw a certain _cadet_ sneaking out of your room. Careful Shiro, you’re a higher-ranking officer now. Wouldn’t want anyone to think you’re giving that cadet special treatment.”

Shiro gave Matt a pointed look and punched his arm. “You saw nothing.”

“Cutting it a little close today, hm?”

“Drop it.” Shiro growled, but there was a satisfied smile on his face. Matt liked to tease, but he would never rat them out.

“Think Kogane’s team will rank high in the simulations today?” Matt changed his tone as they entered the mess hall for breakfast.

“With Kogane as pilot they shouldn’t have a problem.”

“That’s if Kogane can work well with others. No one on his team likes him.”

Shiro glared at Matt who grinned. “He can when he has to.”

Matt gave him a cheeky wink and lowered his voice. “Your confidence in your boyfriend is so sappy.”

“Whatever, just go do your job.” They parted ways after eating and went off to their respective posts for the day.

* * *

 

Keith had finished his classes and morning work. Now it was time for simulations. He was paired up with his normal team who groaned vocally when they saw the name of their pilot.

“I’m definitely going to beat Keith’s score today! I’m going to be the better ranking pilot today!” From their time spent together he recognized that voice immediately. He saw Lance out the corner of his eye and saw him talking with Hunk.

 _So, we really were in the same class. I pretty much kept to myself because I didn’t think I needed my team. Of course, I didn’t care nor did I notice him. He really thought he was my biggest rival._ Keith snickered a little and chose to ignore Lance as he usually did. He rounded the corner and stopped when he saw Shiro talking with the Colonel. He had forgotten this was how he found out about Shiro’s opportunity to go on the Kerberos mission.

“2nd Lieutenant Shirogane. Just the man I wanted to see. We’re sending both of the Holts on a mission to Kerberos and I have chosen you to be their primary pilot on this mission.”

Shiro bowed respectfully and looked the Colonel in surprise. “Colonel, how that would be an honor.”

“This would be your first big mission, but I think you’re ready for it. Take some time to think about and decide. You are the best pilot we’ve seen. Save for maybe that cadet Kogane, but you work with others better than him.” The Colonel joked and patted Shiro on the shoulder. “Anyway. Carry on, Lieutenant and let me know your answer in a couple of days’ time.”

Shiro looked up and saw Keith standing not too far away with a look of surprise. He rubbed his forehead and looked away. Keith swallowed and got back in line with his peers. He knew that signal. It meant that they would talk later.

Shiro took his place next to Matt and listened to his instructions. “As new 2nd Lieutenants, you need not only to know these simulations inside and out, but also how to analyze them. I want you all to watch the cadets closely and take careful notes. We will go over them afterward.” The instructor turned around and addressed the cadets with their normal rundown and rules for simulations.

Shiro nodded to Keith when he caught his eye. _Good Luck, baby._

Keith wanted to smirk, but he wouldn’t show that emotion on his face. He quickly rolled his eyes and subtly winked at Shiro. _Honey, I don’t need luck. You know that._

Shiro shook his head. They had a way with speaking without their words. He knew exactly what cocky come back Keith would have said. _Don’t be cocky._

The simulations went on as normal and yet again, Keith out ranked every pilot, as usual and was smug about it. The instructor had both the observers and the cadets line up again and he turned on Shiro.

“Shirogane. Tell me about Kogane’s group.”

Shiro swallowed when he felt Keith’s beautiful blue eyes on him. He knew Keith was watching him carefully, but also warning him to give an honest opinion. Keith would hate it more if Shiro lied to save face. “Kogane’s group completed the simulation correctly, but there are areas that need improvement. Their engineer was able to fix the broken engine they started out with and they completed their objective of search and rescue. This team has a very skilled pilot, and that’s what saved them. What hindered them was Kogane’s lack of communication in his leadership. He can be reckless because he flies on instinct, even though those instincts are never wrong. Kogane needed to communicate with his team and seem them as equals instead of subordinates.”

The instructor looked pleased and checked off Shirogane on his clipboard. “Very well said, Shirogane.”

A giggle went through the crowd and some whispered about Keith behind their hands. Keith had heard this before and it was nothing he wasn’t used to.

Now he picked out Lance’s smugness through the crowd. “So, the great Kogane isn’t as great as he’s cracked up to be.”

 This had gone just like it had the first time around, but it still stung. Shiro was right, but Keith hated it. He saw Shiro’s eyes on him and looked down at the floor. Shiro was immediately worried, but he didn’t have time. The instructor dismissed the cadets for the day, but kept the others behind.

* * *

 

After lights out Shiro waited in his room for Keith. Guilt ate away at his stomach lining as he paced the small space. He had been a little harsh on Keith, but he had to act like his superior, not his boyfriend. His door swung open and the Keith that entered looked very distraught. His eyes were rimmed with red and Shiro gasped in surprise. He had never seen Keith fall apart like that. Normally, Keith brushed off those comments from his peers or criticisms from instructors, but maybe he cared more than he let on. “Keith. I’m sorry. I know I was hard on you and I know I caused your peers to mock you. I’m sorry.”

“Shiro.” Keith brushed it off casually. Last time he had been upset about that, but now he only had one thing on his mind. He had to stop Shiro from going on the Kerberos mission. It had wrecked everything and that was his reason for being back here.

“I know, I hate doing that to you, but I can’t give you special treatment. That’s why I’m harder on you than most—”

“That’s not why I’m upset.” Keith crossed his arms and gripped the fabric of his coat like it was the only thing holding him together. “You can’t go on the Kerberos mission.”

Shiro gasped and took a step back. He was surprised that Keith would say that, but also angry. Yes, they were in a relationship, but Keith didn’t have the right to make his decisions for him. “Excuse me? I may be your boyfriend, but I outrank you. You can’t make decisions like that for me.” Normally, he hated using his rank, but Keith’s outright refusal had set him off.

Keith stepped forward and grabbed onto Shiro’s arms. “I know.” Shiro’s anger hadn’t deterred him nor did it make him rise to the fight. “Please. My dream last night was about Kerberos. We all heard about the mission. Something went wrong. I have a bad feeling about this mission. If you go, you won’t make it back alive.”

“Keith…” Shiro was speechless. He didn’t know what to say. Keith’s intuition was never wrong, but this mission could be his first big break. His anger melted away when he saw the utter, honest terror in Keith’s eyes. “it was just a dream.”

“Please. I won’t ask you for anything like this again. Just any mission but that one.”

“Oh Keith…” Shiro murmured and pulled Keith into a tight, comforting embrace. “I’ll think about it.” Shiro stroked the top of his hair, trying to calm Keith down. Keith was internally riddled with anxiety though he never showed it to anyone. Shiro had learned to read it as he got to know Keith. Keith was used to being abandoned and now he finally had someone who decided to be by his side. Maybe that’s why Keith was so resistant to the mission. Then again, Keith would never make up a fear like that or a dream like that just to keep Shiro with him. Keith only wanted Shiro if it was mutual.

“I promise. You can ask anything of me if you do this for me.” Keith hated doing this because he was making himself cringe. This wasn’t what he wanted to do. He knew Kerberos was supposed to be a good thing for Shiro, but he also knew the aftermath it caused.

“You’re serious about this.” Shiro stated simply. “I expected you to be pushing me to go. Sure, you’d miss me, but I thought you’d want this for me.”

Keith pulled away and looked down at his feet. His face was burning with shame, but he wouldn’t take this back. “I know! I do want the best for you, but this isn’t it. There will be other missions. I know I sound childish right now, but please consider it.”

 Keith turned and quickly fled from the room. He needed to get out of here and he knew exactly where he wanted to go. He ran to the hangers and took a sharp left. He always kept the keys on him and kept it hidden not too far from campus, but far enough that no one would discover it. They had all taken engineering classes so he knew what he was doing. He had found the hoverbike broken in a ditch and repaired it himself. He heard Shiro call out to him, but Shiro didn’t follow him.

He started it up and hopped on. He took a deep breath as he secured his helmet. This craft was Keith’s favorite by far. It gave him the feeling of cool air on his face while he flied. It maneuvered easier than any ship and was easy to keep hidden when he had to. If he was caught sneaking out on it, he would definitely be expelled.

Quickly, he approached the shack and gave a sigh of relief. This shack was home more than the Garrison had ever been. When he thought back, it was on this night that he found the shack all those years ago. It had been on the day Shiro had told him he was offered the position and he had eagerly told Shiro to accept it. He had snuck out of bed with Shiro that night because he felt suffocated. He loved Shiro and without Shiro, there would be no one left to shield him from this place. No one left to reassure him when he got hate from his classmates. No one who truly understood what it was like to be a prodigy in a group of average people.

He parked the bike around back and eased the back door open. This place was home, but it also held so much pain. Here he had spent so many nights alone searching for clues about Shiro. So many nights crying himself to sleep because he had been so heartbroken. So many nights wishing he had a way to go find Shiro. He would not let that happen again. This was their second chance. He wondered what their life would be like.

Keith stripped down to his shirt and underwear and climbed into the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to picture their life at the Garrison if Kerberos hadn’t happened. Maybe soon he’d be promoted to 2nd Lieutenant and they could go on missions together. Maybe they’d never have to find the Castle of Lions this time. Or maybe they’d find it anyway without all the trauma it caused Shiro. Maybe this time he’d actually be able to protect Shiro. He didn’t know how long this would last and what it would change, but as long as he could stop Shiro from dying, it didn’t matter.

* * *

 

“Shirogane. I must say, I’m disappointed that you would turn down an opportunity like this. It is your decision. I am just surprised. Well, you are still new at this, but a chance like this may never come again. Are you sure?”

Keith had stopped when he heard the conversation and he smiled to himself. Shiro had decided to do this for him and he was too overjoyed to feel guilty.

“Yes, sir. I appreciate the opportunity, but I wouldn’t want to take the opportunity away from a higher-ranking officer. I want to earn my missions.”

The Colonel chuckled a little and Keith heard him clap Shiro on the shoulder. “I admire that in you, Shirogane. I think you’ll make a great Colonel someday, especially if you can get that spit fire Kogane in line. He really looks up to you.”

Keith had to cover his mouth to mask his snort of laughter. He had an idea what Shiro may have been thinking. “ _Oh, I’ll keep him in line all right. I’ll find a way to shape up his attitude.” Shiro’s thoughts are dirty like that and I love it._

“You’re dismissed, Shirogane.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Keith realized Shiro was about to catch him eavesdropping and started off in the direction he came. Unfortunately for him, Shiro had rounded the corner to go in the same direction.

“I should have known, Cadet Kogane.” Shiro kept up the formalities for the moment while they were still in earshot.

“Should have known what, Sir?” Keith looked over his shoulder to see Shiro jogging to catch up to him. Keith couldn’t help but stare. There were so many things he’d missed the first time around. Shiro’s uniform fit him _well_ and left little to the imagination. The cut of the coat showed off his biceps and framed his ass perfectly and those pants did a nice job of showing it off as well. He wasn’t as buff as he had been post-Kerberos, but Keith liked this side of him too. He was still young and believed their future was limitless. If only Keith could keep him that naïve.

Shiro slowed his pace and leaned down when he got close to Keith. “Eavesdropping, Kogane?”

“I know, I have a habit of misbehaving. Looks like you’ll have to find a way to keep me in line, sir.”

Shiro mirrored Keith’s playful smirk and winked at Keith. “Looks like I will.”

“Shiro.” Keith went serious this time. “Thank you. I mean for what you did for me.”

Shiro gave him an easy smile and placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I couldn’t do something you were avidly against. I know you had to have a good reason to stop me.”

“Still, I appreciated it. Anything you want, no matter how big, I’ll do it for you.” Keith said in earnest. Right now, he’d do anything for Shiro.

“I’ll save it for when I really want a favor. See you later, Kogane.” Shiro waved over his shoulder and separated from Keith to continue his day. Keith was overjoyed. He had made up for his biggest regret. He had fixed everything.

* * *

 

Six months later Keith was called into the Colonel’s office and Shiro was completely giddy about it. Keith had an idea by Shiro’s excitement, but he didn’t know what to expect. He stepped into the office and poured on all his respect and charm.

“You wanted to see me, Sir?” Keith bowed out of respect and looked the Colonel directly in the eye.

“Kogane. I must say I’ve been impressed with you in the past six months. Not only have you broke records set by Shirogane himself, but your behavior toward others has improved. I was right to assign Shirogane to keep a close eye on your unit. You two really make a great team. I might regret this and it pains me to say it, but I’m promoting you to 2nd Lieutenant. We have your new uniform being sent to your new living quarters. You will no longer room with the cadets. This is an early promotion, but we’re having a mission that we’ve been planning on sending Shirogane on and we think it would best if you joined him.”

Keith’s eyes lit up and for the first time he wanted to hug another person that wasn’t Shiro. These six months had been like a dream. Around the other officers, Keith had shown a real improvement. His teammates had even been nicer to him lately. He was going to be equals with Shiro. “Colonel, Sir, this an honor. Thank you very much.”

“Don’t make me regret this, 2nd Lt. Kogane. Dismissed.”

Keith kept trying to run into Shiro for the rest of the afternoon, but their schedules were completely different. After dinner, he had gone by Shiro’s room, but it had been empty. He decided Shiro would come to him when he could. Shiro knew about the promotion, so Shiro would come congratulate him.

Waiting for Shiro, Keith had fallen asleep. He woke up to frantic knocking on his door. Keith was dazed, but managed to get up to answer the door. A grin spread across his face when he saw Shiro on the other side of the door. “About time…” He was smug, but he trailed off and changed his tone when he saw the look on Shiro’s face. “What is it?” He already had a feeling. He had known what today had been.

“It’s the Kerberos mission. It failed. They said it was pilot error, but I don’t believe that. Something else went wrong. Matt and his dad won’t make it back.” Shiro was in tears because Matt had been his close friend. He stepped into the room and fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around Keith’s hips and pressed his head into his abdomen. “You were right. How did you know?”

“The dream, my intuition. I don’t know. I’m so sorry Shiro.” He ran his fingers through Shiro’s hair. His other arm wrapped around Shiro’s shoulders to hold him close. “I’m so glad you didn’t go.” He knew exactly what Shiro was feeling. It had been this way when Shiro didn’t return. No, he was worse because he didn’t have the one person who kept him calm. He had torn apart his room and then banged on every higher-ranking officer’s door to get answers.

“Thank you…but maybe if I had been there, I could have protected them.” Shiro murmured against Keith’s shirt and Keith was just happy Shiro was here instead of out there. He had thought those same words. Now he thought about Pidge and what she must be going through. If only he could have found a way to save her family as well. Then again, he couldn’t have convinced all of them not to go. He hadn’t thought of that when he came back. Selfishly, he had only been thinking about Shiro. He didn’t even do this for Shiro. He did this for himself.

“I don’t think you could have. I think this would have happened regardless. I’m just happy it’s not you.” Keith eased himself out of Shiro’s grip and offered a hand to him. “Come on, you need some rest.” Shiro accepted Keith’s help to his feet then collapsed on his bed. He reached for his boots when Keith stopped him. “It’s all right. Let me.” He unlaced Shiro’s boots and slid them off his feet. He pulled of Shiro’s socks next and started massaging one of Shiro’s feet.

“Keith…that feels nice.”

Keith smiled at up him. “I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be okay because wounds of loss never heal. But, together, we’ll make it through this.” Keith finished and moved on to rub Shiro’s left foot. _I saved you from Zarkon. For being experimented on. Right now, you might not know, but if this works right, you’ll never have to know. I’ll save you from that pain. In that timeline it had to exist, it was mean to be, but I won’t let that be._ “You found my new room, huh?” He teased a little trying to help cheer Shiro up with a little humor. He hoped it would do good and not make him more upset.

“Oh, Keith! I’m sorry, I nearly forgot. Congratulations on becoming a second Lieutenant. I’m so proud of you. You completed the cadet course faster than I did.” Shiro smiled down at him with pride, but his eyes were still sad.

“You didn’t have a great mentor and boyfriend to help you like I did. I can’t take all the credit.” Keith stood and helped Shiro out of his jacket, leaving him in just his pants and a black tank top. He reached down and undid Shiro’s belt. Normally, this would have wildly turned Shiro on, but not tonight. Not when he had just lost his best friend. Shiro lifted his hips and kicked the pants off. He looked at Keith gratefully and pulled him into bed when he was done.

He turned his back on Keith. Usually, Keith was the little spoon, but now Shiro wanted to be held. Shiro wanted to be comforted in a way that he usually wasn’t because of his size. He was about to ask Keith to hold him, but Keith understood without words. He scooted close and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s middle. He nuzzled his head into Shiro’s back, but not before pressing a kiss between Shiro’s shoulder blades.

“I’ve got you. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

\--

That was the thing about promises like always and forever, they were impossible to keep. Keith and Shiro sat side by side like they always did. Now that they were both on a level playing field, they were hardly seen without the other. Keith leaned back in his seat and looked over at Shiro who looked back and gave him a smile. Their mission had gone successfully and now they were heading back to the Garrison. The rest of their crew was either busy in another part of the ship or in the barracks getting some sleep. It was times like this that Keith cherished the most. It had been a year since his journey back to the past and it had been a gift. With no one around, Shiro didn’t have his guard up. He didn’t hide his expressions of love. Sometimes they were downright embarrassing and made Keith blush, but this is all he wanted. He had found the ultimate reset and was lucky it was hard to fine. It would be dangerous if Zarkon found that wormhole.

“Keith,” Shiro turned toward him in his chair and gazed at him. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ve got things up here.”

Panic flooded Keith’s subconscious and spread through him like fire. It made his skin feel itchy and prickly. He couldn’t do that. What if something went wrong while he was asleep? No way. He was going to do this timeline right. It had been a year, but that wasn’t enough. He had to make sure Shiro stayed alive. He took a deep breath and calmed himself a bit. “No. I’m all right here.”

“You worry too much, Keith.” Shiro told him, seeing through his ruse again.

“I know, but what if something happens? I’m your co-pilot and I want to stay here.”

Shiro reached across the small space separating the two seats and took Keith’s hand. “There would be no convincing you. I saw that look. You’re set on this and you’re so stubborn.”

Keith smiled and got out his chair and crawled into Shiro’s lap. It was a bit tight for two of them, but Keith felt Shiro relax underneath him. He lay his head on Shiro’s chest and looked up at him through his lashes. That look sent a shiver up Shiro’s spine and Keith pressed his lips together to conceal his joy a little. “Can you still fly like this?”

“We’re on auto now, but yeah, I can get my arms around you.” Shiro let one of his hands rest on Keith’s hip while the other stroked Keith’s hair. It made Keith smile because he knew how much Shiro loved his hair. Shiro had told him on several occasions how soft it was. Actually, the soft, gentle stroking of Shiro’s fingers had become calming to Keith. The nearly autonomous movements calmed Shiro as well. He had to focus on nothing but how Keith’s silky strands felt between his fingers and his anger or fears or anxieties melted away.

Keith opened his mouth to say something when he was cut off by their emergency sirens. He scrambled off Shiro’s lap so fast, he nearly kneed Shiro in the crotch. He pressed the intercom and kept his voice level as he spoke, but just barely. “What’s going on? I don’t see anything, someone talk to me.”

“Sir, we’re being attacked by an enemy fleet.”

Shiro jumped up from his chair. “Get Jones and Harrison on the guns, we have to defend ourselves how much ammo do we have?”

A meek voice came through the radio system. “Not enough, Sir.”

Shiro nodded to Keith. “If anyone can lose them, you can. Cut through the asteroid belt up there.”

Keith nodded curtly. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d get Shiro out of this. Had they gone through Zarkon’s territory? It wasn’t like they had anything precious on board. The mission had simply been for research. A purple and black ship flew by to attack from the front and Keith’s stomach dropped. That was definitely a Galra ship. “Everyone, if you’re not doing a job, buckle up. It’s going to be a rough ride.” Luckily their ship was smaller than the Galra ships, so they would be able to maneuver through it faster.

“I’m going to check on Jones and Harrison and give any back up I can.” Shiro placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.

“No! Don’t leave me.” Keith knew it was needy, but he had a feeling if Shiro left his side, they would be in trouble.

“I have to, Keith. I love you.”

“We’ve taken damage to our left engine!” Their engineer called through the radio. “I’m working on fixing it now, but I don’t know how much more damage we can take.”

“I’m coming your way now.” Shiro called back and looked at Keith, taking his finger off the call button to address just Keith. “We have to lose them now, baby. I know you can.” He leaned down and gave Keith a kiss on the lips.

It wasn’t nearly long enough, but Shiro was right. They couldn’t waste any more time. “I love you too.” Keith placed his hands on the controls and pressed the accelerator all the way forward. The only way to lose the Galra would be at top speed. He easily weaved in an out of the asteroids, but the ride was certainly not a smooth one. _Good thing Hunk isn’t on board, he’d be throwing up by now._ Keith was caught off guard by that thought and how much he missed the rest of his Voltron team. Lance, with his crazy antics and challenges. Hunk with his kind demeanor and fierce willingness to help others. Pidge with her clever humor and computer skills. Allura and her strict leadership. He even missed Coran and his silly words of wisdom paired with his awful food. Maybe they’d still meet on this timeline. _What is happening to me? I’ve never been this sentimental._

He watched behind them on the monitors. They were still taking heavy fire, but his team was holding their own for now. How long until they ran out of ammo? At least no ship had successfully followed their trajectory and every ship that tired had crashed. Shiro had been right. No one could fly like him. Maybe they would make it back. Keith’s eyes scanned the asteroids in front of them and he took a sharp turn to follow the most difficult path. He smiled to himself as he watched more of the Galra ships thrown off by his sudden change in direction. Keith’s confidence was growing until his felt the ship start shaking. _That can’t be good!_

“Lt. Kogane! We’ve lost our left engine. We won’t be able to sustain your style of flying much longer.”

“Fuck. Well, we’re almost out of the belt, but that will make us lose our buffer. Concentrate all of our flying power to the other engine. We might be a little lopsided, but it’ll help us keep up—shit”

“Keith? Talk to me!” Shiro’s voice came through after hearing Keith’s panic.

“We’re out of the belt, but we’re surrounded! They were waiting for us. This was a trap. We have to…” Keith trailed off as he tried to give them a burst of acceleration, but the ship wouldn’t move. “What’s going on? Is our other engine okay?” But the engineer didn’t have to answer. The largest ship in the fleet put out a purple tractor beam. Its force was stronger than their ship. They wouldn’t be able to escape. Keith slammed his hand down the control panel. “Harrison! Take the escape pod. If we launch it just right, the force will be able to break through the beam.”

“Sir, You or Lt. Shirogane should be the one to take it. You outrank us.”

“He’s right. Shiro, please go.” Keith concurred in a panic.

“No! I won’t leave you, Keith.”

“Shiro, don’t be stupid. They don’t need to lose both of us. You’re the more valuable one. Go!”

“Sir! No, you have to!” Keith heard a broken conversation through the radio. “I will!” Keith got up and ran to the back of the ship. He was just in time to see Shiro ejecting the escape pod with Harrison inside instead of himself. “Shiro! I’m trying to save your life!” Keith strode over to Shiro and grabbed him by the collar. _That’s all I’ve been trying to do. If you fight me, I can’t complete my mission._

“And I can’t leave knowing I may have led you to your death!” Shiro pried Keith’s hands off his jacket and glared him down. They didn’t yell at each other often, but neither would let the other win right now. Shiro opened his mouth, but they were all cut off by an explosion right outside the ship. “See? If that were me, I would have died!” Shiro pointed out of the ship to where Harrison’s pod had just been blasted to a million pieces. “I’m not leaving you! Also, if this was the ship that attacked the Kerberos mission then maybe I can find out about Matt.”

“How did you know the Kerberos mission was attacked?” Jones interrupted. His eyes had been watching the explosion of the escape pod in terror, but he looked up in surprise with the mention of Kerberos.

“I know it wasn’t pilot error. I know that pilot, he never would have caused an accident.” Shiro turned on Jones and glared him down. Jones staggered backward and averted his eyes.

“Shiro, don’t take it out on Jones! Wait.” Keith put his hand between them. “We’ve stopped moving.”

The ship doors were pried open and they came face to face with Sendak along with a hundred other Galra soldiers. “What do we have here? Oh, the two pilots look pretty hearty. They may be interesting prisoners to play with.” Sendak saw the way Shiro was still holding onto one of Keith’s wrists and smirked. “Lock them up separately. They seem very close and being separated will weaken them. Lock the rest of the crew up however you see fit.”

 _Sendak! Come back here and fight me! I’ll take you all down._ Keith wanted to run, but he couldn’t, they wouldn’t escape with their lives if they resisted. The soldiers surrounded them and cuffed them. They started dragging Shiro off in a separate direction from Keith and he panicked. “TAKASHI!” Keith didn’t care. He struggled against the soldiers, but several of them were holding him back. He reached out to Shiro.

“KEITH!” Shiro was struggling in a similar way. When he met Keith, he vowed to protect him with all he had. He couldn’t protect Keith if they were separated. Keith’s past had been so broken that Shiro promised himself that he would always be there for Keith. He struggled against the guards until they knocked him unconscious.

Keith screamed louder when he saw Shiro go limp in the hold. Before he could fight his way over to Shiro, he was dragged off and out of Shiro’s sight. Keith fought his captors all the way to the cells and spat at them when they threw him in the cell.

One of the soldiers reached through the bars and closed his hand around Keith’s neck. “I don’t think so. Behavior like that will get you killed.” He pulled a syringe of his pocket and injected Keith on the right side of his collarbone.

“What the fuck is that?” Keith protested, but he was only met with the soldier’s dark laughter as the guards walked away.

“TELL ME right now!” Keith yelled after them.

“You won’t get any answers. It’s best to stay quiet and obedient until we find a way out of here.”

Keith whirled around in surprise. He hadn’t realized anyone had been in the cell with him. He stepped closer and saw his cell mate when he shifted into the light. “Holt?”

Matt let out a gasp when he recognized Keith as well. “Cadet Kogane?”

“Actually, I’ve been promoted. Twice. Shiro and I are both 1st Lieutenants now.”

Matt looked at Keith in horror. “How long has it been since the Kerberos mission left?”

“A year.”

“…a year…I’ve been locked up here for a year.” Matt grit his teeth and looked away for a moment. “Please tell me Shiro isn’t also here.”

Keith looked down disappointed in himself that he still couldn’t save Shiro from this. “He is. We’re partners now, we’re always assigned to missions together.”

“No! I was glad that Shiro had turned down Kerberos because at least he didn’t have to live through this. I wish they would just kill me already. They experiment on us and make us fight each other like animals.”

Keith clenched his fists and slammed his hand into the wall. He had only known about Shiro’s year with Galra from what he had heard from Shiro. Now he was about to experience it all first hand. “I tried to tell Shiro to escape, but it was no use.”

“Of course, it wasn’t. Shiro would never leave his team behind and especially when it comes to you. He’s always had a soft spot for you even before you two started dating. You were the bratty cadet with an attitude problem and a glare that could scare anyone off. You had a severe lack of respect for authority, but Shiro saw you as someone to protect. I still remember how you’d yell at him in the beginning. ‘I can take care of myself’, and now you outrank me…”

Keith covered his face with his hands and screamed in frustration and anger. “I can’t believe I let this happen. We were supposed to make it this time!” He froze for a minute when he let the last sentence slip, but Matt had paid no attention to it.

“It wouldn’t have been any use. This empire has influence over many galaxies.”

Keith nodded and swallowed. He knew well the expanse of the Galra empire.000 He didn’t know Matt super well, but he knew Matt wasn’t like this. Matt was funny and a good friend who liked to tease and was usually upbeat. This Matt was cynical and hopeless with dead eyes. “Well there’s a way to escape! I know it!”

The chuckled that Matt let out chilled Keith to the core. It was dark, sinister and full of mockery. “Ahh to be a newbie again. So full of hope. There’s no getting out. There’s too many of them. This place will kill you on the inside if they don’t do it from the outside.”

“Do you have any idea what they injected me with?” Keith demanded, Matt must know something from being here this long.

Matt shrugged noncommittedly and sat down against the wall. “Who knows? I’ve never seen them do that before. Could be a tracer, could be a serum, frankly I don’t know.”

Keith shook his head. He didn’t remember the last time he had wanted to punch someone so badly. Except for when he faced off with Zarkon. This Matt was so pretentious and it killed Keith inside a little when it thought what this place did to its prisoners. He wondered if Shiro had ever given up hope like that? Then again, it was Shiro that escaped, Shiro that won against every monster, and Shiro that had a love worth fighting for. Shiro never gave up and neither would he.

He walked back over the bars and pressed himself against them like if he pressed hard enough, he’d be able to slip through them. “You may have given up, but I never will. I came here to save Shiro and I will do that!” Keith’s whole body convulsed with shivers when he thought of Shiro all by himself. _I thought preventing Kerberos would stop this. I promised that you wouldn’t go through it this time. I wanted to save you from those scars._ Matt only gave his back a twisted smile and shook his head. Keith paced the cell until exhaustion over took him and fell asleep on the floor.

* * *

 

For three months, Keith was brought out of his cell to be tortured and trained. They said they were preparing him for his big debut. It was only three months, but Keith had lost track of the time entirely. In that time, he had not seen Shiro even once. He would fight off his guards and try to run off in the direction where Shiro was taken. He would get extra lashes when they would catch him again, but he barely felt them. Not torture, no punishment, no wound would ever hurt like the pain of seeing Shiro die. They would laugh at him and tell him they’d brake that spirit, but Keith would laugh back in their faces. As long as he found a way to get both of them out, no one could touch him. They could do anything they wanted to Keith, but he’d kill them all, when he got the chance, for hurting Shiro. He’d never be broken as long as he was fighting for Shiro.

The only thing that terrified him was the times in his training where he would blackout completely. He would only come to when he was back in his cell. What would happen during those holes in his memory? The only clues he had were the cuts on his body, not deep enough to be critical, but shallow enough to be ignored. He occasionally had grease from a mechanical monster or blood on his hands that wasn’t his. Did he harm others? He never knew. It would send a panic through his body like an electric shock and torture him in his dreams.

Keith had a small inkling that the blackouts had something to do with whatever they injected him with. Each day he would get a new dose and each day, he would lose more bits of time. He couldn’t afford to lose time like that. What if something had happened to Shiro during a blackout? He’d never know it because not once had he gotten a glimpse of Shiro since he got here.

 He beat down every monster the put in the ring with him. He was quickly gaining attention of the higher-ups and they devised a new plan. “Get up _pilot!_ ” Sendak kicked Keith’s side through the bars. “Haggar says your finally ready. You defeated all of her monsters so now you’ll face off against her greatest weapon. Sendak nodded to the guards and they both gave Keith a couple of kicks to the gut before dragging him up.

They had to start doing that every time before they led Keith somewhere to stop him from fighting back. He spat at both of the guards, but that didn’t deter them. He would have done more damage if his hands weren’t chained behind his back. One did aim another kick at Keith, but Senak raised his hand to stop him.

“Ah, ah. Don’t damage the goods too much. He needs to be prepared for his fight. If he wins he’ll become Haggar’s new pet. If he loses…well he’ll die.” Sendak sneered down at Keith who sent him back his most intimidating glare.

“I won’t lose!” He had a mission, he wouldn’t die before rescuing Shiro—no—rescuing them both. He knew the pain of losing Shiro and he would never subject Shiro to that.

“Yes, because you’re still fighting for your co-pilot. I heard you might even be able to see him today.” Sendak gave his guards a knowing smirk and they both let out an evil chuckle.

Keith sucked in a surprised breath when he heard the mention of Shiro. _If I win, they’ll let me see Takashi? I’ll murder this weapon._

“You too, get up weakling.” The second pair of guards nodded to Matt and dragged him up from his seated position. Matt didn’t even put up a fight, but he did say he appreciated Keith’s continued ferocity. “You get to watch the show as well.”

Keith went more willingly to the arena with a renewed sense of hope. His whole being ached for Shiro. Not just his hands and lips for Shiro’s touch, but his feelings as well. Shiro was his rock, his anchor that kept him grounded. Never before had Keith let another person as close to him as Shiro. The crowd cheered when he was led into the arena. The stadium was fuller than it had ever been. He was completely surrounded by a wall of purple on all sides. Even Haggar and the Emperor had shown for this one. 

There wasn’t even one way to escape and that sent a panic through him. Then he suddenly remembered something that made him stop in his tracks. He did have a way out! After he won and saw Shiro he could get the out of here. _I nearly forgot Red’s here! How could I be so stupid? Of course, I can get us out with her. We’d have to be together because we’d only have one chance. If I can get Shiro and I together we can get out. They’ll be too surprised to react and we could leave before they could catch us. I can feel her in the back of my mind, but I was too distracted._

They sat and held their selves above Keith in every way and that just irked Keith more than anything. They were not better than him. He couldn’t stand when another being treated others like they were property. He was not a slave for their entertainment. They looked at him like a sheep about to be slaughtered by a wolf. They took bets on which one of Haggar’s creations would win.

Emperor Zarkon stood up and held his hands to calm the roaring crowd. Immediately the stadium went as silent as a black hole. Keith almost wished he could command that sort of respect. But he knew how Zarkon got that respect. The emperor killed those who were useless and rewarded those who took down enemies. “Today, we’re going to watch the two prisoners who have shown the most promise during our experimentation.”

 _Prisoners? I thought I was fighting another Galra weapon. No…please don’t tell me…_ Zarkon continued talking, but it all sounded far away to Keith like he was underwater. _Haggar had tried to make Shiro into a weapon before and what if…no! I won’t believe it._

“First, we have the feisty crowd favorite, The Warrior.” Keith looked up when he heard Zarkon addressed him with his code name. The crowd cheered and Keith felt cold. He bet he got the nickname from whatever he did during those blackouts. Zarkon and Haggar both looked at Keith with that same knowing smile that Sendak did. It pissed him off, but also worried him to his core.

“Facing off against The Champion.”

Keith bit his lip to stop himself from crying out and tasted blood on his tongue. _There was no way it wasn’t him, that was Shiro’s nickname._ His eyes flickered to the entrance on the other side of the arena as the guards lead out his opponent. Keith staggered backwards, but managed to stay on his feet. In the past month Shiro had transformed from into the man he knew. Shiro’s eyes were completely lifeless. He now had the scar on his face and his shock of white fringe. His frame was wider and looked stronger physically even if mentally he looked more fragile than ever. Keith’s eyes raked Shiro’s body and he let out a little sob. Shiro once again had his Galra arm. _I couldn’t…even after everything I did. I couldn’t protect him from this pain._

Shiro finally looked up at his opponent and let out a horrified gasp. “NO!”

The crowd laughed at both Keith’s and Shiro’s reactions to each other. “They will refuse to fight each other but that’ll change in a minute, My Emperor. When I activate the short one’s Warrior mode, he won’t be able to help himself.” She murmured, keeping her voice low so Keith and Shiro wouldn’t hear.

“Yes, hold off on that for a bit. I want this to be entertaining. I want to see what they will do when motivated by that useless human emotion they call love.” Zarkon responded with a malicious glint in his eye.

The guards unlocked each of their cuffs and Keith was handed his normal sword. The guards quickly exited the arena for their own safety. Keith and Shiro immediately ran to each other. They kept their distance because they both refused to show weakness again to the crowd. “Keith…I…It’s good to see you, but not like this.”

“What have they done to you? I promise I’ll get you out of here.” Their voices were both hushed so they wouldn’t be heard over the crowd.

“I love you. At least they didn’t take any of your limbs.” Shiro gave him a weak smile. “I won’t fight you.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry, I couldn’t prevent this. I’m sorry I didn’t fight har—”

“Don’t do that. I don’t want apologies now. I at least know you’re alive.”

“Shiro, Matt’s alive. He’s in my cell with me.”

Shiro relaxed a little and his eyes teared up. “I’m so glad. We’ll all get out of here.”

The crowd grew restless and started screaming at them. Zarkon held up and hand and the crowd when silent again. “Oh, Warrior and Champion, if you don’t fight each other, we’ll kill you.” Zarkon snapped his fingers and red laser dots appeared on both of their foreheads. In a crowd this size, neither could tell where the snipers were coming from.

“I’m sorry, Keith. I promise, I’ll let you wound me or knock me unconscious so maybe we’ll both be okay. We have to give them a show first.” Keith wanted to protest but he could tell the hope in Shiro’s eyes was fading.

Keith let out a tortured cry and charged at Shiro with his sword ready. Tears were falling from both their eyes as Shiro activated his arm. Keith purposefully landed every strike of sword in a way that Shiro could block it. Shiro returned the favor and only made passes as Keith that could be stopped by his sword. The crowd started chants for their favorite and Keith hoped it looked convincing. Maybe to the crowd thought they were both just that evenly matched. Keith was ready to call Red at any second, but it wasn’t the right time. Zarkon needed to drop his guard.

Zarkon and Haggar exchanged looks and Zarkon nodded. She let out her high pitched witchy laughed and stood up from her chair. She projected her voice so Keith could properly hear her. “Warrior. Enough of this, we both know you’re better than this. Awaken my warrior and fight!”

Keith felt a pain in his collarbone and choked as he fell to his knees. Shiro pulled back to avoid hitting Keith and the fans of the champion cheered.

“Now’s your chance, Champion, finish him off!”

“What happened? Get up Warrior!” Keith’s admirers yelled back.

Keith threw his head back and let out a loud, crazed, menacing laugh. It shook Shiro to the core and he watched Keith in horror. When Shiro caught his eyes again he staggered back and let out an alarmed gasped. Keith’s eyes were now a cold, glowing Galran yellow. He stood up and tilted his head to each side, cracking his neck. “Finally, My Dear Haggar. I was wondering how long were going to keep me cooped up. Poor Champion has no chance now.”

“Keith…?” Shiro asked but his voice came out in no more than a wavering whisper.

“Lucky for you, they only messed with your outside. My torture was all internal, but I’m stronger. I have lost all of those stupid emotions of love that make _you_ weak.” Everything about Keith shifted. His laugh, his eyes, his tone of voice and even his demeanor. He was no longer sad and helpless.

“Keith?”

“Nice try, but Keith has checked out. He won’t return until my job is done.” The Warrior ramped up his fighting style and came at Shiro will all his power. It was all Shiro could do to block Warrior’s attacks.

“KEITH! Wake up, you’ll regret this when it’s all over.” Shiro yelled desperately and continued to fight back. He thought of a plan and aimed his arm right for Keith’s sword. Warrior saw right through him and moved his sword. Instead he slammed the hilt into the pit of Shiro’s elbow, causing his arm to bend and miss catching Keith in the side.

“You really think that would work? Come on _Champion,_ try harder. You won’t win like that. I know inside you secretly want all the glory. Keith has sparred with you for years. He knows your moves inside and out and so do I.” Shiro swallowed and increased his level of effort. He still wasn’t putting his full force behind his attacks, but he had to win if he was going to bring Keith back. He pulled more martial arts moves into his fight style. Warrior grinned and blocked every single one.

Shiro cried out in pain the first-time Keith managed to slice his side. The cry only made Warrior’s sinister smile grow. It was as if he was feeding off the pain. He gritted his teeth with the other injuries he took. Nothing would stop him. He would bring his Keith back. He swiped a low kick while also coming at Keith’s sword with his arm. Keith chose to defend his sword and was knocked off his feet.

“I’m not letting you beat me, Warrior.” Shiro stepped on Keith’s stomach, knocking the wind out of Keith, but also stopping him from getting up. He sliced down at Keith with his arm. Warrior put up the sword to defend himself, but feel into the trap. Shiro cut through the sword, shattering it into several pieces.

Warrior didn’t even look fazed. He smirked up at Shiro and threw the hilt away. “That’s fine. I don’t need that. Unlike you, I don’t care what happens to you or this body.” He kicked at the back of Shiro’s knee, effectively making them buckle and Shiro went down. Warrior shoved Shiro onto his back and straddled him. “This ends here, Champion. I’m not trying to escape. I’ll stay here and get the glory I deserve.” He reached down and wrapped his hands around Shiro’s neck. Shiro started gasping for breath and struggled against the grip. He grasped Keith’s arm and concentrated the heat to his hand.

He knew he was burning Keith, but he didn’t retract his grip. If it brought Keith back, he could apologize for it later. The pain only pushed Warrior forward and he tightened his hold. Shiro tried and kept trying to hurt Keith, but it was no use. After two minutes, he finally lost all his fight and stopped breathing. Warrior moved his hand and reached for one of the jagged pieces of his sword and plunged it into Shiro’s chest.

The crowd got to its feet and roared with the result. Warrior stood up and raised his fists in the air. He threw his head back and laughed that same evil laugh that only belonged to the imposter.

 “How long can he stay like that?” Zarkon asked Haggar.

“Not much longer. He’ll collapse any minute now. We’ll put him in the champion’s old isolation chamber. We now know the true power of the serum. He didn’t even hesitate to kill his lover. We’ll start upping his doses. Maybe there is a way to keep change him completely. Too bad the Champion didn’t hold up, but his body rejected the serum so we couldn’t remove those useless traits that kept him from fighting with his all.”

Keith felt the pain in his chest and collapsed to his knees. Everything went black for a minute then he slowly regained his vision. The crowd was blurry and he couldn’t hear them properly at first. He blinked a few times and he heard their chants. They were cheering for him and only him. He whipped around and saw Shiro lying in a pool of his own blood. His lips were blue and his face was pale. The fraction of his sword still stuck out form Shiro’s chest. _I…did this. I blacked out again! I knew it! Whatever was in that serum made me do things against my own will. I didn’t save him life. This time I killed him._ Keith crawled over to Shiro’s side and pressed his forehead into Shiro’s abdomen. _I’m sorry. I’ll try again. I’ll never stop until I figure out how to save you._

“KOGANE! How dare you? I’ll kill you when we get back to our cell.” Matt roared over the crowd. He watched the whole scene in horror. To see the two lovers fighting had made him feel sick, but this wasn’t right. Whoever this guy was, it wasn’t Keith. Sure, the kid had a scary face and a temper, but Matt knew how Keith cherished Shiro. He would never do this.

Keith looked up and saw Matt yelling at him from the crowd. _You’d have every right to. NO! I’ll fix this…she’s here, she’ll take me there again!_ “RED!” Keith screamed at the top of his lungs. It only took a matter of minutes since Keith was already bonded with her. She broke through the arena, scattering Galrans everywhere. She scooped him up and flew out before anyone could comprehend what happened.

“PUT UP THE BARRIER NOW!” Zarkon fumed, but no one would get there in time. Keith was already out of reach by the time someone got to the control room.

Keith sat at the helm, but he wasn’t in control. _I know now with every reset I won’t forget the last one. I’m glad whatever was in the serum didn’t let me remember killing Shiro. I promise, this time, I’ll make it right._ Keith passed out from exhaustion, but Red continued to guide him. He woke up to the prickling feeling in the back of his skull. Again, they were entering the purplish-white wormhole. “Take me back. I won’t try to reset Kerberos. Take me back to when were about to save Allura. I won’t go after Zarkon, I’ll protect Shiro!” The white light completely surrounded them like last time and Keith blacked out.

* * *

 

Keith sat up in bed and looked around. He was back in his bedroom in the Castle of Lions. He looked at the clock, it read 2:12 am. He scrambled out of bed and ran down to Shiro’s room. Shiro’s door slid open, but Shiro wasn’t there. _Oh, Allura is missing. Of course, Shiro wouldn’t be able to sleep._ He turned around and headed for the training deck. Sure enough he found Shiro doing push-ups. Working out always relaxed them both. Keith walked over and sat next to Shiro. He placed a hand on his back and Shiro placed his knees on the ground.

“Keith…” He murmured softly and sat up on his heels. He pulled Keith into a tight hug and rested his chin on Keith’s shoulder. “It’s all my fault. I should have saved her instead of letting her push me away.”

“No. I don’t want you to ever get stuck there again. I won’t let them put their hands on you again.” Keith urged, rubbing Shiro’s back with small circles. He felt Shiro’s body shake with a repressed chuckle.

“It’s like you hate Galra more than I do.”

“Of course! They took my Takashi away. They were the reason I thought you were dead. They stole your arm and traumatized you. I’ll never forgive them.” _I’ll save you this time. I promise._ Keith took a deep breath and calmed himself down. “Come on, honey, let’s go to bed.” Keith stood up and offered Shiro a hand. Shiro stood and wrapped his arm around Keith’s shoulders. Keith smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“I’m still glad you found me when I crashed back on Earth. I couldn’t do any of this without you.” Shiro pressed a kiss into Keith’s hair as they walked.

Keith looked up at him and smiled. _Me too, you have no idea. This time, I promise I won’t fight Zarkon on my own._ “I’m glad I have to be on my own anymore.” Keith walked them back into Shiro’s room. He wanted nothing more than to kiss Shiro senseless right now, but that wasn’t what Shiro needed. Shiro’s mind was fixated on Allura and he wouldn’t be in the mood. He needed Keith to comfort him and calm him down. Keith had wanted to save Shiro from the horrors of the Galra, but he knew now that wasn’t possible. Shiro was meant to go through that even if it killed Keith inside. Anything would be better than being brainwashed to kill Shiro. They both collapsed into bed and Keith held Shiro tightly, but also like he was the most precious treasure in the world. And to Keith, especially now, he was exactly that.

* * *

 

Shiro had lost control of the black lion and was ejected from and Keith knew this time what he needed to do. He pushed it out of the way, and he saw Zarkon rise from his ship. Rage flooded through him and he gripped the controls with white knuckles.

“Keith! Do not engage. Zarkon’s too powerful to take on by yourself!” Coran yelled into his headset. That enraged Keith even more. He hated to be told what he could and couldn’t do, but this wasn’t about him. Coran was right. He would pay Zarkon back for everything he had done for Shiro a million times over, but not right now.

“Right.” He forced out through gritted teeth. He gave cover fire to protect the black lion and his team, but kept this distance. Zarkon mocked him and kept going after him, but Keith wouldn’t let it bait him. He fired in Zarkon’s direction, but didn’t let himself get close enough to cause damage to his lion. He needed Red to be functional. He would shield Shiro from the surface’s impact.

His breathing was ragged and short, but he wouldn’t lose focus. This time he was sure he’d save Shiro. With two lions on the surface, they would defeat those Galra soldiers. He moved in to cover Hunk as he crashed into the ship. Still, he stayed close to the black lion. He wouldn’t let anyone get near it. He didn’t care what connection Zarkon seemed to have with her, she was now Shiro’s lion.

“We got her!” Shiro called through his headset and got himself back to the black lion. Keith smiled and followed Shiro back to the castle. He stuck by Shiro’s side, knowing what would happen next. With bated breath, he waited for Haggar to warp the wormhole.

“We’ve lost control! Something’s wrong with the wormhole!” Allura’s voice came over the intercom and Keith flew closer to Shiro. He barely had control, but he managed to force his lion to follow Shiro. Never again would he leave Shiro, never again would he lose him. The wormhole spit them out on the same planet where they had originally found Shiro.

“KEITH!” Shiro shouted as they streaked toward the surface.

“I’m here!” Keith yelled back. He gripped the steering controls and gritted his teeth. He would lessen the black lion’s impact. He would finally save them both this time. Shiro was their leader. The team needed him and so did Keith. It was selfish, but he knew Shiro was equally as selfish with him. It felt like the was trying to move his lion through tar. Every movement was slow and was met with nearly impossible resistance. Seconds before they hit the surface, he managed to get this lion in front of the black lion. They hit the surface and skidded several feet until they came to a stop. Keith’s body had slammed into the control panel and he couldn’t breathe.

“Keith? Please tell me you’re okay, baby.” Shiro’s voice sounded a little strained, but Keith could tell he was relatively okay. “Keith!”

It took Keith a minute for air to return to his lungs. “T-Takashi. I got the wind knocked out me and I hit my head, but I’m okay.”

“You took the impact for me. I’m so mad, but I’m also grateful. Let’s explore a little so we know how to get out of here.” They both climbed out their lions and ran to each other the minute they were out. “We made it.” Shiro put his hand on the side of Keith’s helmet and smiled at him. It was as close as he could get to cupping Keith’s face with their gear on. “At least we’re together.”

“HEY!”

They both turned and saw a flood of Galra warriors running at them.

“Two lions! If we can bring them back, Zarkon will reward us greatly.” Their captain announced. “Kill the paladins.”

Keith and Shiro shared a smirk and readied their weapons. They were the best at combat in their group and they had their lions to cover them. They both signaled to their lions and the lions laid cover fire to protect them. Shiro was amazing with his galra tech arm. Keith got lost for a half a second watching him. His fighting style was like an elegant dance. A swift, dangerous one, but a dance all the same. No enemy would stand in Shiro’s way now that he wasn’t injured.

Keith felt a trickle of blood run down the inside of his helmet, but he ignored it. He was glad Shiro hadn’t noticed he was bleeding before they started fighting. The injury gave him a pounding headache, but his adrenaline canceled it out. He cut down every enemy that stood in his way. It was times like this he was glad he got his frustrations out with training. Little, by little the mass of soldiers decreased. They were almost there. “Shiro we’ll make—”

Keith turned to face Shiro just as he saw an enemy aim his gun at Shiro from behind. He was out of range of their lions so he wouldn’t get taken out by it. “SHIRO!” Keith tried to run to Shiro’s side, but the blast was faster. It cut through Shiro’s armor like it was nothing and shot out through the front of his chest. Immediately Shiro collapsed to his knees and fell forward into the dirt.

Keith saw red and his fighting ferocity increased. Not even one of the Galra soldiers would get in his way. Not even with the two him could he save Shiro. None of them would survive for killing his precious Takashi. Every warrior that stood in his path was cut down with a simple, well placed slice to their necks. When the last soldier fell to the black lion’s laser. He bent over with his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. His gasped soon turned into sobs and he fell to his knees at Shiro’s side. “NOT AGAIN!” _Red, tell me you can move. We have to try it again. I know I can save him, I just haven’t figured out how yet._

His lion immediately sprang into action and picked him in mid leap. They sped off in the direction of the time loop wormhole. Keith rested behind the controls as they flew off. He was greeted by the white-purple light and he felt calm. _I have to stop Allura from getting captured. If I stop that, we wouldn’t have had to confront Zarkon. We wouldn’t have gotten separated. That’s the real cause of Shiro’s death._ Like the previous times, he was engulfed by the light and woke up in his bed at 2:12 am.

* * *

 

“Shiro and I will go into the base to get the information we need. The rest of you will stay here to give us outside protection.” Allura announced to the group and Shiro nodded at her side.

“No.” Keith said simply and crossed his arms, squaring off against Allura. This time he wouldn’t budge on this. He would go with them or they wouldn’t go away.

“Excuse me?” Allura glared Keith down, not fazed by him even one bit.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No. We have to keep it as few of us as possible.”

“I’m coming _with!_ It’s not negotiable. I know Shiro better than anyone. I know how to back him up. _” Also with your past with Galra, Takashi. I don’t feel right letting you go in there. What if you have a flashback? I’m the only who can pull you out of those._ He wouldn’t say that to the group because he would never make Shiro look weak. Shiro was the farthest from weak. He was strong for enduring what he did and still putting others first. Keith knew he sounded childish right now, but he didn’t care. He would bring them all back safely.

“No I won’t allow it.”

“Allura, I want Keith to come. He’s right. We’ll need more back up than just I can give you.” Shiro was mad that Keith was being so disagreeable, but he didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t let Keith go either.

Allura looked between Shiro and Keith and sighed. They were a package deal after all. She knew their relationship and knew they felt safest by the other’s side. “Fine. Let’s go.”

The mission was a little clumsy along the way, but they managed to make it through. It was only at the end did they Galra suspect them. They were nearly out before they were surrounded. “We can do this!” Keith shouted even though the soldiers were pouring in from all sides. “I know we can fight them. This is why you needed the extra hand.”

“Get out of here!” Before for Keith and Allura could react, Shiro pushed them into the exit chamber.

“NO! SHIRO!” Keith yelled and went pale when he saw one of them strike Shiro. He wasn’t sure if Shiro was truly dead, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t watch this anymore. Each one of Shiro’s deaths shook him to the core. They replayed in his subconscious every time he closed his eyes. Shiro’s lifeless body haunted him when he was alone. They each cycled over and over getting more distorted each time. Keith was losing his grip on reality. How many more times would he have to watch Shiro die? _Why? Why would I get the chance to do it all over if I can’t save him?_

The minute they returned to the castle, Keith started off to his hanger, but Allura grabbed his arm to stop him. “Keith, you can’t. I thought I’d been feeling a sense of déjà vu, but now I realized why. I have flashes of different outcomes of the same events. First, we found the black lion and no evidence of Shiro’s vital signs. Then you all never came to us. Then we lost Shiro’s vitals again and you disappeared completely. Now you came with us on a mission you weren’t supposed to be on. You’ve found the forbidden wormhole.”

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Keith denied, but he knew right now he was being a horrible liar.

“Keith, Shiro was supposed to die. That wormhole does reset the timeline according to the person’s wishes, but it cannot change the outcome of certain events. Shiro may have died in different ways, but he always died, didn’t he?”

Tears fell down Keith’s face and he nodded. “I’ve tried and tried. I can’t save him, can I?”

Allura shook her head and wanted to reach out to put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. She retracted her hand, knowing Keith hated being touched by anyone that wasn’t Shiro. Also, that gesture was meant for Keith and Shiro alone. It was their way of communicating without words. “No, Keith. I’m sorry. That’s why it’s forbidden. That’s why Zarkon has never used, if he has found it. He cannot stop the events that are destined to happen and neither can you. That wormhole had driven many others crazy. The pain of losing Shiro will never truly go away, but you will learn how to deal with it in your own time.”

Suddenly Keith felt the prickling sensation in the base of his skull. He knew he had to try just one more time. He could save Shiro, but it would cost him everything. “Allura. Promise me, you’ll find the black lion this time.”

“Keith, no!”

“I know I can save him! I just can’t save both of us. I have this feeling it will take my life in exchange. You can’t tell Shiro how I did it. That will die with me.”

“No, you can’t! Shiro wanted you to make it out alive in his absence.” Allura grabbed his arm, but Keith yanked it away.

“I know, but you all need Shiro more than you need me. He’s a better leader and he knows how to lead in the face of adversity. I have to go.” Keith turned on his heal and ran down the hallway to his hanger. Allura reached out after Keith, but didn’t stop him. Her heart ached for him. She had learned to love each one of the paladins like they were part of her family. Any paladin lost would kill them all inside, but Keith was right in way. Shiro meant the most to all of them. She hated admitting that because Keith was a perfect match for Red, but also had ties the black lion as well. If Keith had chosen to do it, he could have led Voltron.

Keith now knew the true power of the wormhole. It didn’t accept selfishness and that’s why the outcome never changed. He had to sacrifice himself to save Shiro. That was the ultimate unselfish act of love. That’s why Red had led him there and that’s why the wormhole never let the outcome change. _I will always love you Takashi. Take me back to the planet. I’ll trade my life for yours. You deserve life and I’ll give it to you._

* * *

 

“Keith! Are you all right? Please tell me you survived the impact!” Shiro yelled into his headset. He would never forgive himself if Keith had died protecting him. They had made it out. They had landed somewhere together.

“I’m here. I’m fine for the most part.” Keith coughed a little and his voice was weak from losing the air from his lungs. “Just catching my breath again.”

Shiro let out a sigh of relief before he was able to speak. “Good. Let’s go explore and assess the damage to our lions. We can find a way back to our team.”

Keith smiled at Shiro’s words. He always had such optimism and it pained Keith that this would be the last time he’d ever hear it. If they couldn’t both live, then dying for Shiro would be an honor. He stepped out of his lion and saw Shiro. He paused for a moment when he saw Shiro and took in every aspect of Shiro. They both ran into each other’s arms and Keith let himself feel Shiro’s embrace to the fullest.

“Keith. If for some reason both of us don’t make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron in my place.” Shiro was serious and Keith knew that wouldn’t happen.

“No! We’ll both make it! I’ll make sure of it.” His voice was firm and full of passion. Still, he felt it even if now it was a lie.

Shiro pulled away and looked at Keith with a smile that never failed to send tingles up and down Keith’s spine. “I knew you would say that.”

“And if I don’t make it, you have to live for me. You have to lead Voltron and defeat Zarkon.” Keith slipped his hand under Shiro’s mask and stroked his face. His gloved hand was still in the way of their contact, but it would have to be enough. One last time he got to feel that sculpted jawline that drove him crazy. He wanted to kiss Shiro one last time, but he knew then he wouldn’t be able to do what he had to do.

“HEY!”

They both pulled apart and readied themselves for battle. Keith kept his eyes open and alert as he fought. Never did he let himself be forced away from Shiro. He would watch his back. Like before it seemed they were winning the battle, but Keith knew that wasn’t right. He strayed far enough away from Shiro to give the sniper the shot. His eyes scanned as he fought and he saw the soldier. Shiro was busy with the others in front of him and would never see it coming.

“SHIRO!” Keith yelled and slammed his body into Shiro’s the minute the shot left the sniper’s gun. Shiro tumbled to the ground and Keith took the full impact straight to his chest.

Shiro turned just in time to see Keith fall to ground. “NO! KEITH!”

Keith tasted the metallic flavor of blood in his mouth and he coughed it up. He knew it was filling his lungs with every breath. He didn’t have long. “Takashi. Keep fighting. You have to make it out. I did this for you. I love you.” Shiro’s strangled battle cry was the last thing Keith heard. His vison blurred and he laid his head against the cool dirt. _I’m sorry I’m taking the easy way out Takashi. I know it’s hard to be left behind than to do the leaving, but you’re stronger than I am in every way. Eventually, you’ll be fine._ Shiro was strong and precise with every moment. His fighting style was still beautiful, even with tears streaming down his face, he fought with everything he had.

“I will avenge you Keith. I will take down the Galra empire. I love you.”

Keith smiled to himself and knew he made the right choice. Unlike Shiro, he would have never been able to lead. He had gone numb and closed himself off from everyone. Shiro didn’t do that. He always thought of others in a way that amazed Keith. _I’m lucky to have known you. To have loved and been loved by you was a gift I didn’t deserve. Thank you, Shiro._ One last time, Shiro made eye contact with Keith and let out a yell of agony when Keith finally went still.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap was this hard to write. I am the (self-proclaimed) queen of fluff and happy endings. I am a bit sorry for this. I tortured my poor favorite, Keith. I think my next Sheith will be spoiled half-Galra prince Keith who falls for prisoner Shiro. So look out for that. asliverofhope-the-fangirl on tumblr if you're ever looking for me.


End file.
